who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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