Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
