Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
