when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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