I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
