Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
