she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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