How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
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imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
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Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
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