he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
