My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
