Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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