Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
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Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
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Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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