i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
