We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
