hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
