One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
