after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
