so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
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I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
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Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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