he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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