i think i have herpe
just one?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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