let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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