Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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