I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
babies were throwing up all over the place
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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