Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you would pick up someone in the library
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He better not be in your backpack
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
