she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
