then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
