Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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