Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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