there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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