There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
