My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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