Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
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