I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
