I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
