I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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