the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
