super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
