In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Randomize
