my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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