so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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