But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
id be glad to
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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