after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
