even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
