nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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