dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
