yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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