she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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