I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
