I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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