I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
