wrigley field is MILF paradise
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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