I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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