garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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