just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
