i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
