no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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