You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
