And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
