I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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