I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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