He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Boobs speak an international language.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
