tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
