that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I want her autograph on my taint
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
